Winter Newsletter

When The Storm Hits

Many of us are recuperating from the "Arctic Blast" that we had the last two weeks of December here in Oregon. I’ve been scraping leaves from my draining system in the street, picking up large tree branches from the mighty Redwood Tree that lives in my back yard and repairing the gutter that fell off my house! I’m glad to see that the snow has melted leaving behind a very green lawn. I’m grateful to have heat, hot showers, hot food, electricity and work to return to after sitting in a dark cold house for 30 hours!

As I return to my desk to write Full Circle’s Winter Newsletter, I thought what a perfect metaphor to describe 2008! It seems for many us 2008 has brought several "storms" into our lives. Some have lost family members, lost their home in a house fire, had financial setbacks, life changing health issues and family crisis.

For others, it brought showers of joy! I received happy news of marriages, new homes, falling in love, babies being born and witnessed clients experience life changing breakthroughs.

When the storms of life hit, remind yourself that this is only temporary and there is an end. The day will come again when you can pick up the pieces and be grateful to move on. We have the luxury to choose to be victims or powerful individuals that survive and learn from the sometimes tragic and sorrowful times of our lives. We have an opportunity to share our compassion, deep understanding and empathy for others going through similar situations. We can choose to share the strength we gain from the storms of life and know that soon we too will be showered with joy in our lives again.

This is an opportunity for us to see how incredibly fortunate we are in so many other areas of our lives and to show gratitude for the goodness in our lives everyday.

So here are some questions for you my friends. I'd love to hear your responses and with your permission I would love to share your answers with others in an anonymous fashion;

How do you face tragedy, sorrow and unfortunate circumstances in your life?

What have you learned about yourself from experiencing these events?

What meaning and purpose have these events brought to your life?

What are you doing differently that you would not have, if these events never occurred?

What new found appreciation do you have in your life?

There is no one or no thing that has the authority to determine whether or not you will have a life that is fulfilling and loving. You are the only one that has that power! How can you take these storms in your life and find a way to make them meaningful? Victor Frankl, a prominent Jewish Psychiatrist, Existentialist and author of "Man’s Search For Meaning" survived the camps of Auschwiz and Dachua. He wrote "suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning".

Ultimately, suffering is a choice. Our perception of suffering is different for each of us. It goes against our nature to suffer endlessly. The human body innately desires to restore itself. The spirit yearns for joy and serenity. Birth and death is a continuous cycle. To every ending there is a beginning . So my friends, let’s say goodbye to the storms of 2008 and raise our glasses to 2009.

May this New Year bring hope and promise for a new beginning, fresh start, abundant health and blessings, and longer days! It will be Spring before we know it! At the first sign of a new crocus, I ‘ll be writing my Spring newsletter just to say "I told you so"!

LOVE YOUR LIFE!

- Elizabeth R. Hartshorn, MS, LPC (503) 588-2113

>> How do you face tragedy, sorrow and unfortunate circumstances in your life?
Client A: I get mad, I cry, I write, I talk with close friends (I get counseling!)

Client B: As 2008 presented more than just a few challenges in my life, I had the opportunity to make the choice of wallowing in the mud or pulling myself out of it. I chose to keep on walking, with short bouts of wallow. I recently found out that my son is going to Iraq, so I 'gave' myself 24 hours to grieve this change, and then marched on, as he would prefer me to do. It has been important to recognize that it's completely understandable for anyone to have moments of grief or pain, but that to live in the place where misery dwells is not healthy for me.

>> What have you learned about yourself from experiencing these events?
Client A: Sometimes I shut my feelings down too much. I need to be pro-active and process or stress and resentments build up and I just feel angry and helpless instead of capable and strong.

Client B: Resilience is a blessing, a huge gift. When handed trouble, I will suffer it for a bit, but then will start the search for a solution.

>> What meaning and purpose have these events brought to your life?
Client A: Through the loss of my husband's parents I have a true picture of how precious the moments with those we love are. To try and not hold on to an angry thought and to cut people some slack (high expectations!) that we're all going through this life together and it helps to have a warm hand to hold onto.

Client B: I have learned to be much more compassionate towards others, but I also expect more from them too. I know someone who absolutely chooses to stay depressed and it has been a tremendous strain on her health, not to mention all of those who associate with her. I had to break off the association because I learned that toxicity is toxicity, no matter if it is poison in a box or in a person, and I will not voluntarily keep ingesting it in any form. However, if someone has a bad or sad experience that they are trying to deal with, I'll offer any help I can.

>> What are you doing differently that you would not have, if these events never occurred?
Client A: I try to take a pause before reacting- but still move into the situation. I try and keep my relationships true and hopefully not go too long before connecting with people to tell them I love them.

Client B: I found an interesting spiritual practice that has made a profound difference in my outlook. I'm attaching it to the end of the questions. Before I go to sleep at night, I fill a bowl with thanksgiving. See below.

>> What new found appreciation do you have in your life?
Client A: Again, above. But not related to tragedy, sorrow, etc. I have found a new appreciation for my husband :) Some friends came to visit and they are going through some hard times and I think through that my husband and I found a new place with each other. Nice, for sure.

Client B: Life is good. I am the most blessed woman.

A woman went to a temple with intent to worship, but when she entered the temple, all she saw were a thousand bowls of different materials - clay, crystal, stone, wood; no altars, no candles, no priests to guide her through prayers. Confused, she asked the temple attendant how she should worship in such an odd place. The answer was simple and more odd - "Fill the bowls with thanksgiving." Not knowing exactly how to do that, she asked again what was meant? "How do I fill a bowl with thanks?" The attendant explained that once she had filled the bowls with thanksgiving, she would understand.

Not giving in to her confusion, she stepped to the first bowl and offered a short prayer of thanks. Then, to the next bowl and the next...but the bowls were so many and it seemed overwhelming. So the woman went home but came back the next day and started where she had left off, offering a prayer of thanksgiving for every bowl... Day after day she returned, until one day, she looked at the temple attendant with understanding.

Upcoming Events

See what the Statesman Journal is saying about our retreats!

Women's Retreat to Focus on Reducing Stress
Angela Yeager, Statesman Journal

April 19, 2005: The prescription for an overworked and stressed-out woman: a weekend at the coast with hot fudge sundaes and tai chi.

Full Circle Counseling & Consulting's May 28-31 retreat at WildSpring Guest Habitat in Port Oford will focus on rest, relaxation and self-renewal.

Full Circle owner Elizabeth Hartshorn said she will introduce women to methods to help them reduce stress and relax at anytime.

"We have the retreat facility to ourselves," Hartshorn said. "If they want to slip into their PJs on hot fudge sundae night or lounge around in the white terry spa robes that are provided, so be it!"

WildSpring is a new luxury resort near Bandon, featuring cabin suites, ocean views, a spa and a sundae bar.

The cost is $395 for a single reservation; $375 if you bring a friend.

The cost includes four meals, two nights of lodging, tai chi classes, the workshop by Hartshorn and a level-one reiki class taught by reiki master and holistic health consultant Lilli Decair from Salt Lake City.

A one-hour massage also is available for $64.

The registration deadline is May 1.

To make a reservation, call (503) 588-2113 or E-Mail Elizabeth Hartshorn at elizabeth@fullcirclecounseling.com

For more information, go to www.wildspring.com/fullcircle.htm

ayeagar@StatesmanJournal.com or (503) 399-6743

© 2005 Statesman Journal, Salem, Oregon

Local Business Offers Women's Weekend Retreats
Angela Yeager, Statesman Journal

February 22, 2005: A hot fudge sundae bar. Massage therapy. Yoga. The Oregon Coast.
If all that sounds like your idea of paradise, Elizabeth Hartshorn has the perfect weekend getaway for you.

Hartshorn is the owner of Salem-based Full Circle Counseling and Consulting.
Several times a year, Hartshorn puts together retreats for women.
Hartshorn said the goal is to get women to connect, as well as take time out for themselves.
"What goals can I set for myself?" Hartshorn said.
"I want this to be an empowering thing for women. We have massage therapy, great food and a lot of down time."

Harsthorn is taking registration for her latest retreat, which is called "Women's Retreat: Envisioning our 30s, 40s & 50s."She is accepting 10 to 12 women who are wanting to set goals as they enter their 30s, 40s or 50s to go to WildSpring Guest Habitat in Port Oford at the Oregon Coast on April 8-10.

WildSpring is a new luxury resort near Bandon. It features cabin suites, views of the ocean, a spa and a hot fudge sundae bar. The cost is $295, which includes four meals, two nights lodging and classes. If guests register with a friend, the rate drops to $275. Other than meals and workshops, women can spend their time as they like -- hiking, exploring or just resting.

Local writer Jenni Green went on one of the retreats last year to Yachats. She said she went primarily for a vacation.

"I've been to a lot of retreats where at the end I was exhausted, but the pacing of hers is relaxed," Green said. "You can choose to be pampered. The food was really good and there was a lot of flexibility in the schedule."

ayeagar@StatesmanJournal.com or (503) 399-6743

© 2005 Statesman Journal, Salem, Oregon

Contact us today! (503) 588-2113
elizabeth@fullcirclecounseling.com